It’s become like living in Soviet Russia, where they make you stand around in line all day waiting for just one measley punch in the face!!!

I had the misfortune of going to Subway Sandwiches for lunch today, and I was looking forward to my old standby – 6″ Tuna on Wheat with Lettuce and Tomatoes and a little bit of Onion.

But, it turned out the Sub of the Day was the 6″ Ham and Turkey, so I had to get that instead, as it was a full $1.50 less than the non-Sub of the Day, and within the realm of my limited purchasing power, as I had not been to an ATM all month!

So I was happily rattling off the ingredients I wanted to the Hispanic guy who couldn’t speak Menu, meaning he not only didn’t know which was the Sub of the Day, but he didn’t know what was supposed to go in it, and barely knew the English words for Ham, Turkey, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion, and Pickle.

And even though I very enunciatingly told him I wanted Tomatoes, he did not put any on. So I asked him again, and then he said they didn’t have any.

I looked around the various bins in disbelief, and indeed, saw none full of the red flesh of the luscious herb. Then someone in line muttered something about a spinach and tomato scare, and how it’s safer to not eat it.

I can’t believe it. Tomatoes unsafe? More likely, Kim and her Anti-Tomato Underground are spreading false stories on the AP wire in order to pull tomatoes from modern society. Commies against the red fruit, how ironic!!

6 thoughts on “It’s become like living in Soviet Russia, where they make you stand around in line all day waiting for just one measley punch in the face!!!

  1. I’m getting tired of the anti-tomato propaganda that is being spread far and wide. What is to be done?

  2. Tis true that the tomato is getting the short end of the stick right now. But really, how hard is it to wash a tomato? It’s not the tomato that gets people sick, it’s whats on the outside of the tomato that is getting people sick. WASH your produce! Come on folks.

  3. Excuses for not washing your produce:
    The sink is too far!
    I can’t figure out how to turn the water on!
    It is so organic to just eat the produce with the natural dirt on it!
    I am immune to produce diseases. I never wash!
    I hate soggy produce.

    Okay I will stop.

  4. I thought all the killer tomatoes were from New Mexico right now, can’t they just buy them from another source and let us all get our anti oxidants?

  5. MY Subway regular is a 6 inch tuna on wheat with lettuce, onions and cucumbers. Weird!! I would try tomatoes on it, but apparently not today…

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