Wherein I discover the most boring music EVER

It is a little known fact that some ago, I started carrying around an HP iPaq about a year ago. Work bought it for me when there was spare bucks in the budget that had to be spent, and I thought it’d be a handy replacement for a pad of paper and Franklin Planner.

Mostly, I use it for games, the MobiPocket Reader with the entire useful gospel library, and also as an improvised iPod. It has a 2 Gig memory chip, which holds plenty of MP3s. For a few months, I had a whole bunch of songs on there, and would listen to it while driving, since my car doesn’t have a radio. More recently, however, I took off all the songs, and downloaded the Book of Mormon in audio in English, the last General Conference in French, and the entire audio book of The Hunchback of Notre Dame in French, and I listen to that stuff while commuting, either in my car or on BART.

Recently, however, I’ve been jonesing for some more music. Succumbing to a desire for some church-related music, I went to lds.org and downloaded all the songs I could find.

But then I listened to them.

Oh boy how awful! I’ve never heard such boring renditions of the hymns! A typical song will have a violin and piano playing the exact same tune, and a small group of voices singing along in their parts. However, they use the absolutely slowest tempo for that song, sing in somber tones with the words not so much being enunciated than simply being notes carried. Some songs have some sort of brass instrument playing along, but in all the songs, the violin fairly well drowns out the voices, and piano is barely audible, and it all just melds together into a mash of somber sound sung slowly.

So much for that idea.

7 thoughts on “Wherein I discover the most boring music EVER

  1. Well, thanks for saving me from all that effort, wherein I would have come to the same conclusion. Who organized those recordings, and why were they so sad?

  2. So that is why you said you wanted to get a radio in your car…I thought you were just hinting about a birthday present early so I could get on it. I didn’t realize it was because you were listening to sad hymns.

  3. I hate slow hymns. When I have a funeral, sing all the hymns super fast, faster than the recommended fast tempo, in fact sing it as fast as the pianist can play it (no organs please.)

  4. I suspect they have them like that so that people can listen to them to learn them, but you’re right, they sound so dismal! There should be a learning option and a listening joyfully option. 🙂

  5. Don’t worry, I don’t think you are an evil person or anything for saying this, but only because I have often said that I don’t like the sound of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, now that’s evil. (so is my misuse of comma’s)

  6. How silly of you. I’m pretty sure the hymns from LDS.org are the same hymns you can buy on tape so that you have something to sing along with if you and your friends don’t have the talent to play the piano. And everyone knows they make it sound that way so that you feel like you are at church, singing with the Elder’s Quorum, or your Sunday School class or whatever. They were really shooting for authenticity and I think we can all agree that they did it!

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