Fat Old Hag loves babies

On the subject of the birth of Veronica, talking to the people at work about it was one of the things I was not looking forward to. I had told hardly anyone about it, only mentioning it to my boss as justification for taking time off.

So, hardly anyone knew, and since Cisco bought us, time-off requests no longer go through the Fat Old Hag, she didn’t even know I was going to be out of the office. And what she doesn’t know, she can’t talk to me about.

So, everything was looking good. Except, after the baby was born, I sent an e-mail to my boss about it, and he forwarded it to everyone in the company.


So when I went back to work, people were congratulating me and asking questions, and I got to tell the same story over and over. I felt like this:

And what’s worse, the FOH adores babies, and so she came over a bunch of times asking for pictures, asking about the birth, asking about baby details, and asking all sorts of bizarre follow-up questions. I don’t know how women come up with the bizarre follow-up questions, I can only imagine they are caused by a chain reaction between hormonal imbalance and women’s intuition.

Ugh. So now that I’ve had a baby, she thinks I’m really cool again, and wants to see pictures and stand in my cube making faces.

Luckily, I still have my noise-cancellation headphones, and can pretend like I can’t hear her.

5 thoughts on “Fat Old Hag loves babies

  1. The fat old hag she ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be…
    Did the foh ever have any kids? She might be missing her family (either the one she has or the one she never had.) Give her a break.

  2. You should write about the birth on your blog and then point everyone there, especially the foh, I’ll bet she’d never talk to you again after she read your blog and then all your problems would be solved.

  3. “Bizzare / Slightly awkward follow up question to a highly personal event in order to drag said event discussion long past length of normal interesing time,” in one of the classes they teach us in girl school in order for women to make men feel awkward and thus remind them that women rule the world.
    I’m not afraid to break the silence about our secrets.

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