Kim gets cookin!

This morning, Kim woke up with an odd ache in her side. She hadn’t slept well at all, and on pulling up her pajama shirt, she saw three large bruises on her side. Puzzled, she patted down her bed to see what she had slept on, and discovered three eggs underneath her mattress!

“How did these get here?” she puzzled. “I certainly did not lay them! Maybe little Ben left them here.”

She rolled out of bed, got a change of clothes, and trudged off to the shower, gingerly rubbing her side. She stepped into the bathroom, and slipped! Her hands flailed wildly, throwing her clothes all over the bathroom. She looked down, and was shocked to find 1 cup of oil on the floor! She knew it was one cup, because there was an empty, oily measuring cup right there next to the spill.

“How inconvenient! Who would spill oil on the floor, and not clean it up?” There weren’t any footprints on the floor leading from the spill, so she couldn’t guess the culprit by the size of the footprint. She wiped up the spill, then hopped into the shower, adjusting the water temperature to the higher side of tepid. She washed with her favorite loofa, exfoliating with delight, then sprinkled 2 teaspoons of vanilla to her hair, to add scented body to her luxurious mane. She forgot to buy deoderant when she went to the store last week, and had just run out. However, being inventive, she reasoned that since it works for killing odors in the fridge, she simply tossed one teaspoon baking soda into each armpit.

That done, she headed upstairs for her breakfast. Just like every morning, she shredded two cups of zucchini, added two cups of sugar and 1 1/2 teaspoons of cinnamon.

“Delicous!” she declared, thrusting her spoon into the air, flicking zucchini and sugar on the ceiling. Kim was feeling adventurous, and was looking foward to the hike she had planned for today. She had packed her daybag yesterday, set her boots by the door, and was eager to set out before sunrise. She unhooked her super fancy new silver Razr phone from its charger – her favorite brother-in-law Mike had just sent it to her, and she was so grateful! She loved the new phone, with it’s sleek profile, large clear screen, and 4x zoom vga camera. In fact, the only thing she loved more was her brother-in-law Mike, and swore in her heart of hearts that she’d make it up to him on Christmas, even if she didn’t draw his name in the family assignments.

“I know just what I’ll get him – one 8 1/4 ounce can of crushed pineapple, drained” she thought. “That, and one package of instant pudding mix, any flavor!”

She grabbed her hiking supplies and went outside, and was surprised to discover that a sudden frost had iced over the front walk and driveway!

“No way am I walking on that and risking slipping that ice again like I did back when I flopped down and ripped a big hole in my hand!” she reflected. Instead, she grabbed some flour and sprinkled it on the walk as she went, using three cups to get to her car.

She popped in her favorite CD (which she had burned a few days earlier on her super fancy new laptop that has a built-in DVD player / CD burner. Her CD player is super cool and can even play MP3 CD’s, which comes in handy when she and her favorite travelling companion Cindy are making multi-state treks across state lines and stuff like that) and drove to the mountains.

On the way, she began munching on her special trail mix, a composition of her own design, consisting of one cup each of raisins and walnuts, 3/4 teaspoon nutmeg for spice, 1/4 teaspoon baking powder for freshness, and 1 teaspoon salt to replace lost whatever you call those things you lose when you do strenuous activity.

Unfortunately, she ate it all before she even got there, and had to cancel the trip and go home and didn’t even get any interesting pictures of the scenery or cows, or the three greased loaf pans she saw on the side of the road. On the other hand, maybe that’s a good thing, because now that the sun was up, it was as hot as an oven set at 350 for one hour!

2 thoughts on “Kim gets cookin!

  1. Man, even in story format I can’t seem to follow a recipe. I had 4 cups of zucchini, 4 eggs, 5 cups white flour, 1 cup wheat flour, one pudding, baking soda, baking powder, one cup oil, vanilla, coconut and lots of love from 2 little boys and a squacking little girl. We are cooking it at 325 for how ever long it takes. Who knows what it will taste like.

    I have already been told I wasted all that zucchini and time. Growl and snarl is all I can respond to those kinds of comments. Why don’t you wait until you taste it, you might be surprised.

    I am tired. I hope the bread turns out tasty.

  2. Sorry Kim, I will NEVER let him have the recipe to send again! I could have just read it over the phone. It was like the recipe and the computer was overtaken by terrorists and I had no choice but to sit there and watch as he typed it out and snickered every once in a while when I asked, “are you almost done?” The terrorist would reply…” ALMOST…”
    It really is the best recipe ever! If you don’t spill it on the floor or sleep on it…

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