More workplace mayhem

Turns out, the fat guy had used up the rest of the milk I had brought in, when he ate that bowl of Life right next to my cube. This morning, I brought in a new gallon, so I could eat breakfast again.

Monday, Fat guy had remarked that there’s some yummy cereal in the breakroom, and wondered where it had come from. He was amazed that I had brought in the milk, the Life cereal, and the Granola before that.

Turns out, he had polished off the Granola a few days earlier, without saying anything.

He didn’t say anything when he finished the milk, either.

This morning, he came in, and without stopping to say anything, walked right in to the breakroom, discovered the new milk, poured another bowl of Life, and carried it right back to his cube. Oddly, he left the empty box of Life nestled in among the non-empty boxes of cereal.

And, while I’m glad he didn’t stop to chew next to my cube, I started to wonder – doesn’t he eat breakfast at home? I mean, I eat after I come in, because I get up a bit after 6, and leave for work at 6:30 A.M. – I don’t want to eat breakfast that early. Plus, I’d have to get up earlier to have enough time to eat before leaving.

Fat guy doesn’t come in until 10:00 A.M. Doesn’t he eat breakfast at some point, between waking up and getting to work at 10?

Or, maybe he does eat at home around 8 or 9, and then has second breakfast at 10, and that’s why he’s so chubby. Hmm, food for thought.

In other news, the know-it-all was on a recent business flight, and left his expensive noise-cancellation headphones on the airplane, when he flew to Chicago. A co-worker had just told us his happy story about leaving his notepad in an airport, and that they had placed it in lost and found, and were returning it to him. Know-it-all decided to give that a try, and called some airline’s automated help line for lost and found.

He was on speakerphone, and we heard the computerized voice ask, “Please say the city and state where your item was lost.” Know-it-all replied, “Chicago….. Hey guys, where is Chicago…? Michigan?”

7 thoughts on “More workplace mayhem

  1. Maybe he just doesn’t want to pay for food. Does he realize that you’re bringing those items in for your personal use? Maybe you should put your name on them or something. How weird.

  2. It sure is nice of you to share. He must really like you.
    Does anyone else put food in the kitchen for their own personal use or is it just a free for all if it is in the breakroom?

  3. Everyone knows that Chicago is its own state! Gosh.

    Mmmm, life cereal and milk. I like the chubby guy. He makes me feel better about myself. Ask him what kind of cereal you should bring in next for him. ie “Hey chubby guy, I noticed my cereal was getting low, so on the way in tomorrow I am going to stop and get some more. Is there any particular kind you want this week?”

  4. Or, you could get a discussion going with someone about cereal and favorites and non-favorites when the chubby guy walks by, then get him telling his likes and dislikes. Then go out and buy his least favorite cereal for the breakroom.

    Or, you could buy his favorite kind and write his name on it, and put your name on the others.

    Or, you could say you were going to pick up some cereal on the way in to work and ask him if he wants you to pick something up for him, and then ask him for the money to pay for it.

    Or you could punch him in the eye.

    Or you could put something gross in the remaining cereal boxes, so when he pours it into his bowl he gets grossed out.

    Or you could color your milk purple. Maybe he won’t drink colored milk.

    Or you could tell him, “If you eat my cereal and milk you have to goto church with me and read the BOM.” This is only a suggestion if he isn’t mormon.

    Or you could get a mini fridge for your cubical.

  5. I don’t mean to take over your blog. It is just that this is such a fun discussion. We should do it more often.

  6. I think you should go with the food dye in the milk idea! That would be really funny. NOT purple but GREEN!!!

  7. Or if you found out what kind of cereal he doesn’t like you could get a box of that, and then take the bag from inside the Life cereal box and put it in the other box. If you wanted to you could then put the bag from the kind he doesn’t like into the Life box, but that’s kind of mean, and besides, he might figure out the trick then.

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