Monthly Archives: December 2007

Mexican Train with Kim

Last week, Kim taught me how to play Mexican Train, a dominoes game wherein you play the part of a Chinese railroad magnate, and get Mexicans to build you a super-long railroad without any broken bridges, because broken bridges mean that you have to keep pulling tiles from the boneyard while Kim plays on your railroad. The goal is to play all your tiles and have the lowest score.

Anyway, this is how the game went, with the final score at the bottom (and I have no idea why blogger puts so much space above the table):

Kim Mike
Cheated 37
Cheated 34
Totally cheated 6
Cheated 29
46 Won fair and square
Kinda cheated 17
46 123

All in all, it was a fun game with plenty of laughs. Ivon was gifted the game by his new great-aunt-in-law, and we now play it at every family gathering, and will probably play it for FHE, too.

It’s the simple things in life that you treasure

There’s a line in that fantastic movie Galaxy Quest where Monk from Wings teleports a humongous rock monster into a room full of villain lizard-guys, and he and a few other protagonists watch the ensuing chaos on a monitor, and he says, “It’s the simple things in life that you treasure.”

I had a similar moment today.

I had zipped out and picked up a modest but delicious meal to-go from In-N-Out Burger, and brought it back to work to eat at my desk while watching the newest episode of Naruto.

But instead of just trotting in through the side entrance as I normally would have, I made a point of using the back entrance, and waltzed right through the gym.

Boy did I feel devious as I carried my fragrant meal in front the rows of sweating stationary bicyclists, past all the people pumping iron, and beyond those lying on the floor doing crunches.

Then I hopped in the elevator, zipped up four floors to my desk, and chowed down.

Gotta try this in California

There’s no way the Socialist Republic of California would pass a law such as this, but I can dream, can’t I?

For months, immigrants have taken a wait-and-see attitude toward the state’s new employer-sanctions law, which takes effect January 1. The voter-approved legislation is an attempt to lessen the economic incentive for illegal immigrants in Arizona, the busiest crossing point along the U.S.-Mexico border.

And by all appearances, it’s starting to work.

“People are calling me telling me about their friend, their cousin, their neighbors — they’re moving back to Mexico,” said Magdalena Schwartz, an immigrant-rights activist and pastor at a Mesa church. “They don’t want to live in fear, in terror.”

Martin Herrera, a 40-year-old illegal immigrant and masonry worker who lives in Camp Verde, 70 miles north of Phoenix, said he is planning to return to Mexico as soon as he ties up loose ends after living here for four years.

“I don’t want to live here because of the new law and the oppressive environment,” he said. “I’ll be better in my country.”

He called the employer-sanctions law “absurd.”

“Everybody here, legally or illegally, we are part of a motor that makes this country run,” Herrera said. “Once we leave, the motor is going to start to slow down.”

There’s no way to know how many illegal immigrants are leaving Arizona, especially now with many returning home for normal holiday visits. But economists, immigration lawyers and people who work in the immigrant community agree it’s happening.

State Rep. Russell Pearce of Mesa, the author of the employer sanctions law, said his intent was to drive illegal immigrants out of Arizona.

“I’m hoping they will self-deport,” Pearce said. “They broke the law. They’re criminals.”

Under the employer sanctions law, businesses found to have knowingly hired illegal workers will be subject to sanctions from probation to a 10-day suspension of their business licenses. A second violation would bring permanent revocation of the license.

Illegal immigrants packing up and leaving Arizona on CNN.

Toilet jokes: Not just for the faint of hearted

During my most enlightening trip to Utah, my dear sweet sister-in-law Kim introduced me to Blackgle, the black-background version of Google. Apparently, swapping the white background of Google with a black background saves enough energy to power the UN headquarters for one year. And who wants to help fund an all-powerful global government hell-bent on ruling over every person on earth?

So when presented with a search engine, what do you search for, just to see if it works?

Poop, of course!

Which lead me to this most interesting article on the ideological inspiration behind (no pun intended) the invention of the toilet:

Toilet Talk: My Address To The World Toilet Summit

In my research, I’ve discovered something about the toilet that everyone attending the World Toilet Summit needs to know: the toilet was NOT invented for sanitation. It was invented for ideology.

Here’s the brief history. The toilet was invented in the 18th and 19th century to help rich Victorians in England differentiate themselves from the lower classes.

This was during the industrial revolution, when wealth began to spread beyond the most elite members of society.

The most elite Victorians didn’t like it that so many people were becoming rich like them, and so they adopted elaborate customs and morality to differentiate themselves in ways mere money couldn’t.

So to them, sweating, burping, having sun-darkened skin, showing sexual desire or strong emotion — all these were taboo to the elite Victorians, because they identified all these with the lower classes.

But the problem was, whenever they felt the need to evacuate, they left behind in their chamber pot a disgusting reminder that they were no different than anyone else.

Even if no one heard or smelled what they were doing in their private bathroom, there was still this disgusting THING left in the chamber pot, and the servants would know who put it there.

So, toilets were invented so that hoity-toity people could pretend like their bums don’t poop.

But eventually, everyone in the industrialized word obtained a toilet in their house, or at least, in their outhouse.

So now, the only thing separating the fancy-pants from regular joes is the propensity to pop out poop jokes and toilet humor, or to pretend like such things exist only in the nightmare world of the lower class.

So what are you? Can you laugh at a fart? Or do you need to leave the room and burn a match to eliminate your emissions?