During my most enlightening trip to Utah, my dear sweet sister-in-law Kim introduced me to Blackgle, the black-background version of Google. Apparently, swapping the white background of Google with a black background saves enough energy to power the UN headquarters for one year. And who wants to help fund an all-powerful global government hell-bent on ruling over every person on earth?
So when presented with a search engine, what do you search for, just to see if it works?
Poop, of course!
Which lead me to this most interesting article on the ideological inspiration behind (no pun intended) the invention of the toilet:
Toilet Talk: My Address To The World Toilet Summit
In my research, I’ve discovered something about the toilet that everyone attending the World Toilet Summit needs to know: the toilet was NOT invented for sanitation. It was invented for ideology.
Here’s the brief history. The toilet was invented in the 18th and 19th century to help rich Victorians in England differentiate themselves from the lower classes.
This was during the industrial revolution, when wealth began to spread beyond the most elite members of society.
The most elite Victorians didn’t like it that so many people were becoming rich like them, and so they adopted elaborate customs and morality to differentiate themselves in ways mere money couldn’t.
So to them, sweating, burping, having sun-darkened skin, showing sexual desire or strong emotion — all these were taboo to the elite Victorians, because they identified all these with the lower classes.
But the problem was, whenever they felt the need to evacuate, they left behind in their chamber pot a disgusting reminder that they were no different than anyone else.
Even if no one heard or smelled what they were doing in their private bathroom, there was still this disgusting THING left in the chamber pot, and the servants would know who put it there.
So, toilets were invented so that hoity-toity people could pretend like their bums don’t poop.
But eventually, everyone in the industrialized word obtained a toilet in their house, or at least, in their outhouse.
So now, the only thing separating the fancy-pants from regular joes is the propensity to pop out poop jokes and toilet humor, or to pretend like such things exist only in the nightmare world of the lower class.
So what are you? Can you laugh at a fart? Or do you need to leave the room and burn a match to eliminate your emissions?