Monthly Archives: November 2006

Talking to Amy

While driving around with the kids today, I had the following conversation with Amy:

Amy: Where’s my nap?
Me: Nap? I don’t know, is it on your brains?
Amy: I don’t have a brains, I just have a head and a air.
Me: Huh, that’s too bad!
Amy: Ivon has a brains.



Today, I went shopping with the kids. We ran multiple errands, having a jolly good time, looking at books, browsing through Target, and wherever else we went. Our last stop: Food Maxx.

Food Maxx is one of those stores where you bag your own groceries in exchange for lower prices. The downside is, your food goes sliding past the checker while he scans every item, and you have to coordinate bagging everything up, paying for it, and loading it into your cart as fast as possible, so as to get out of the way of the people right behind you.

Today, we were stuck behind a slow old lady who was so slow, she gives slow old ladies a bad name.

She stood patiently right next to the checker as he scanned all her items, and for some reason, wanted to pay for her two heads of lettuce seperately from everything else.

So, all her goods went sliding down the counter as she stood there, and she wanted to pay for it in cash, with exact change. Except, she couldn’t find her dime. Very patient, she continued to browse through her purse and change, until she found it all and paid for her groceries. Then the guy scanned her two heads of lettuce, and she paid for that. Then she stood there as he began scanning my stuff, and put her purse all organized and back together, with all her coupons in just the right spots.

I squeezed behind her to begin bagging my stuff, but had to leave my shopping cart behind her, because hers was blocking the lane. Eventually, she pushed it over to her groceries, and the kids pushed our cart down to me.

I had about half of it bagged when it was time to pay, and the kids continued to bag and load the stuff when they weren’t too busy making each other giggle and topple over.

The poor checker guy had to start sending the next customer’s stuff down my counter, because the old lady didn’t have much bagged up by then. Had I been ultra courteous, I could have offered help, but these days, that’ll get you a purse upside the head as often as a Thank You.

Oh well.

And then on the drive home listening to the classical music station, I was reminded how much I dislike music featuring the harpsichord. There’s something about its sassy twanging that really grates on me.

Things I notice

Seeing as how at least a week has passed since I last blogged, it’s about time I post something I’ve been thinking about since then.

You see, last week in church, I was sitting there, and noticed the guy in front of me. Or more specifically, I noticed his ear.

According to this website, part # 5 of the ear is called The Tragus. On most people, it’s a cute little bump. On some people, it’s a super hairy little bump.

On this guy, it was a huge jutting edifice, protruding outward and forward!

I mean, seriously, it reminded me of the spaceship Argo from Starblazers.

At long last, an update

The Costco guy came back, his first return trip since the Fat Old Hag episode. I let him in the back door, and pointed him towards FOH to find out where she wanted the stuff.

Then I left.

When I came back, everything was put away, and the FOH was nowhere to be seen! That’s the way it should be. And the bonus – she ordered three big packages of assorted Grandma’s Homestyle Cookies in three flavors: Peanut Butter, Chocolate Chip, and Fudge Chocolate Chip. Delicios!

In other news, I’m beginning to think that small Kendo class sizes are the norm, and not the exception. For each of the last four weeks or so, we’ll start with about 8 people, plus three or four sensei. Of the eight in the class, 4-5 will be Dan (black belt) level and up, and then there’s me, Ivon, a no-rank guy, plus a new girl who started a few weeks ago, and maybe another random person.

The new girl goes off to practice footwork, and me, Ivon, and no-rank each get paired up with a yudansha, and the extra yudansha pair up with a sensei. We then run through a bunch of basic strikes and parries of the sort where you turn a block into a strike, so that you can always attack.

Then we’ll do 10 – 15 minutes of hardcore non-stop battles of about two minutes each, rotating through partners. That’s followed with a longer, more deliberate practice match with whoever you rotated into, and then free practice, where we can rest for a bit, re-tie loose knots, and pick fights with whoever we want.

But what’s actually new, is at the beginning of the month, I went in for another promotion exam. Last year I passed the lowest rank level… uh let me explain.

There’s six ranks to black belt, starting with 6th kyu, going up to 1st kyu, then the black belt levels start with 1st dan, on up.

Last year I passed 6 kyu, and this year I went for 5 kyu. I almost certainly passed, since I didn’t fall over or drop my shinai, not even once.

So that’s exciting. I remembered the lessons I learned last year, and stayed barely calm, hollered loudly enough that I was hoarse by the end of my session, and executed all the moves I knew.

Now, on to 4 kyu!