Monthly Archives: April 2006

On the proposed mass-riots for May 1st

For decades, alien invaders have snuck into this nation. Although they have made little, if any, effort to comply with Federal and state immigration, employment, and tax laws, they demand that our laws be changed to accommodate them.

They seek employment illegally, and demand schooling, government, social, and healthcare services to provide for their needs. Rather than integrating with our official language, they demand that every document and program be bilingual to accommodate them. It is estimated that these illegal aliens will cost cash-strapped California more than $10.5 billion annually in services.

And on May 1st, they hope to shut down America, by refusing to work and walking out into the streets. They aim to “close” American cities, according to a Yahoo news report. The article quotes Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa as saying he expects these folks to be “lawful and respectful” in this demonstration.

However, it seems to me there is nothing lawful or respectful about their illegal presence, or the proposed mass disruption of these cities that generously provide so much for them.

Then again, what better way for them to pay respect than to refuse to do their illegally obtained jobs? Can we hope that they will also boycott our nation’s emergency rooms, schools, and roads?

One day without illegal aliens is a start! What message will it send to Congress if millions of members of a criminal underclass march in the streets? Hopefully, it’ll prove the necessity of securing the borders, removing them from the nation, and encouraging them to migrate peacefully and legally.

Millions of people legally immigrate into the United States every year, integrate, and become citizens. I hope that everyone who wants to come to this nation can do so.

However, invading the nation, contributing to an illegal labor lobby, and consuming billions of dollars in stolen social services, and then demanding amnesty is not the way to do it.

Free lunch, but not Fat-Guy-Free

So, due to some funky problems in the field, a lot of people around here are working non-stop all day long. Some of them all night long!

Our dear sweet CEO saw this, took pity, and has had the falling-apart-old-lady order lunch for everyone.

The first day, she ordered individual meals from a nearby deli. Taking that many orders took its toll on her, so the next day, she just ordered a huge Cesar Salad, and a big tray of sandwich stuff.
The day of its arrival, she sent out an e-mail saying that there would be food in the breakroom at noon. I thought nothing of it until I heard the fat man call out from the breakroom, “Hey! There’s food in here! You’d better hurry and come and get some before it’s all gone!”

“Yeah, because you’re probably going hog wild eating it all yourself, huh Fat Guy,” I thought to myself.

“Because [name changed] and me are already here, and it’s going fast!” Fat Guy yelled from the breakroom.

Oddly, for whatever reason, instead of eating in the breakroom, at his desk, or in the conference room with the food, Fat Guy decided to eat at the Hand-Waver’s vacant desk, two cubes away from me. Even at that distance, I could still hear his boistrous mastication. Go away, Fat Guy!
And for some reason, every time he makes one of his super-frequent trips to the breakroom, he stares down at me as he lurches past. I think he’s checking to see if I’ve yet fattened up enough to make a good meal for him.

Two fun websites

Ok, I’m just barely getting into this “URL sharing” stuff, so we’ll see how this goes.

The first is the eternally awesome StuffOnMyCat.com, where you can see cats of varying degrees of unhappiness wearing outfits, balancing stuff on their little furry heads, or sleeping while their owners pile objects on them and take pictures. What could possibly be more awesome than that?

The next site is what restored my faith in mankind. It is called Overheard In New York, and presents such snippets of eavesdropped conversations as this:

Woman: Do you have a non-fiction section?
Book guy: Well, everything that’s not fiction is non-fiction. [Over] there’s cooking, and there’s history.
Woman: No, that’s not what I asked. Do you have a section for non-fiction?
Book guy: Well, there are no non-fiction novels. Everything here that’s not a novel is non-fiction.
Woman: But you don’t have a non-fiction section?
Book guy: No. Everything that isn’t fiction is non-fiction.

–Barnes & Noble, Staten Island

It’s ironic, because I cannot stand watching television shows where the characters are supposed to be bumbling idiots. But then, there’s a difference between scripted buffoonery written by relatively intelligent people, and actual moron sightings in the real world.

I hope you enjoy the two sites as much as I have.

Musical Chairs

One of the interesting things that happens at work, is that every morning, all our chairs would be re-arranged.

Not everyone here is a stickler for his or her chair, but just a few are. Know-it-all actually removes the adjustment arms from his chair every evening and before he leaves on trips, so he can track down his chair when he returns, and to prevent anyone from adjusting his chair. My chair has peculiar non-adjustable armrests.

We had always assumed that the cleaning crew pushed all the chairs out of the way when they vacuumed, and didn’t pay any attention to which cube each chair had come from.

But late last Friday evening, Know-it-all discovered the truth.

He was stuck here late that evening, working with the developers on troubleshooting a problem occuring at one of our customers. He was over in the lab with them for several hours, and then had to come over to his desk for something.

He took a shortcut that led him through the breakroom, and when he opened the door to enter, was surprised to discover a big group of Mexicans gathered around the breakroom table, playing poker. They all looked up at him, startled, and he gaped at them. They had the full deck all dealed out. They were sitting in our chairs. They were feasting on chips, freezer food (the microwave was running), and the various beverages. One guy was even carrying an armful of bottled water, presumably to carry out to his car. None of them volunteered to speak english, so Know-it-all just walked through and made a mental note to complain about it on Monday.

The Falling-apart-old-lady had been complaining about how quickly the food and drinks were dissappearing, and this discovery solved both that mystery, and the mystery of the moving chairs. Several months ago, ownership of our building had changed hands, and the new owners fired the old cleaning company, and hired a less-expensive group. Apparently, as soon as they discovered the mother lode stored in our breakroom, they started inviting friends over every night for cards and free food.

So, I guess this serves to prove two points: Illegal immigrants put an incalculable drain on resources & services, and It’s not always the Fat Guy.

A word about the breakroom

Just to dispel any misconceptions about the breakroom and the fat guy, here’s a few pictures of the breakroom.

I work for a start-up company, which means there are not very many employees, and they need everyone to work as long as possible in order to stay afloat. Hungry employees are not happy employees, and employees out at a restaurant eating, are not at work working.

So, starting with the drink fridge, you can see a variety of beverages available for consumption. Everything from bottled water to RedBull to V8 is in there, and on the top left shelf is Dannon yogurt.

To the right of the drink fridge is the real fridge, and this is the freezer. Costco keeps us stocked with a variety of frozen sandwiches, Hot Pockets, and microwave burritoes.

I used to like the BBQ Chicken sandwiches and Sausage, Egg & Cheese Biscuits, but got burnt out on them. Now the only thing in there I’ll touch are the microwave burritoes.

Here’s the fridge. Some people store food in there, and the company supplies the fat-free milk, the loaves of bread, and everything in the door of the fridge: butter, mustard, ketchup, salsa, ham, and cheese.

On this table, you’ll find the variety box of assorted chips, a bin of Red Vines, various boxes of cereal, microwave popcorn, two or three types of NutriGrain bars, and other odds and ends.

If you don’t recognize them, the cereals are Cheerios, Special K Red Berries, and two types of bran cereal.

The Falling-Apart Old Lady (I’ll introduce her in a future post) perodically orders most of this stuff from Costco, and picks up the perishables at some supermarket. Not shown is the back room, which is stacked full of additional quantities of everything you see here. Except for the frozen stuff, of course.

When I bring in a box of cereal, I’ll slide it inbetween the rest of the cereal, and I put the milk in the fridge with everything else.

So, I am sharing the milk and cereal I bring in, with whoever wants some. I just think it’s really funny and ironic that it’s the fat guy consuming it all.

What I find even funnier, is that he finds the stuff as soon as it’s in the kitchen. Which mean, Fat Guy must scour the kitchen looking for new food, every day!